Our Guests John and Lisa Bevere

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SID: Hello. Sid Roth here with John and Lisa Bevere. Lisa, where would you say an important turning point in your marriage was?

LISA: You know, when I chose to forgive. You know, when John came home when I locked him out, I got alone with God and I was like, “God, I hope that you’re speaking to John. I hope that you are rebuking him. I hope you’re giving him some bad dreams. I hope that you’re just going to jerk the slack out of him.” And God said, “You need to forgive.” And I was like, no, no, no. I’ll forgive him when he changes. And the Holy Spirit said, “No, you need to forgive him so he can change.” We don’t understand the power of forgiveness. When I forgive somebody, I actually release them to be everything that God wants them to be. And John came home from that weekend locked out and came to me, and he was like, hey, I’m sorry. And usually I would say, well I forgive you, but you need to understand, you did this, this, this, this and this. I had a whole bank account. But the Holy Spirit said, “I want you to look at is your husband and when he says, I’m sorry, I want you to say, I believe you want to change and I forgive you.” And that is what Jesus says to me every single time I come to him. He doesn’t say, Lisa I’ve got this whole list of things and you’re going to do it again in the future. He just says, I believe you want to change and I forgive you. You know, looking back over 33 years of marriage, there’s a couple of things I regret as a wife, things that I wish I would have done differently. And number one, I wish I would have loved him more fearlessly. You know, I came into the marriage—

SID: What do you mean by fearlessly?

LISA: Well I came in with a lot of fear. So I would measure my love. I wasn’t willing to give all of my heart to John because I was afraid if I gave him all of my heart that he would break my heart. So I would always reserve a little bit back. And I remember John would say to me, “I’m not your dad. I’m not your dad. I’m not going to leave you, I’m going to abandon you.” I was so afraid that if he made a mistake it was going to destroy me. And so I would control him and then he would try to control me, and it was just this ridiculous dynamic. We did a lot of things imperfectly, but we learned from all of our mistakes. And so that’s, again, what you asked me earlier in the show, why would we have shared that. Because we actually really do want something more for the other couples.

SID: John, what affect did it have on you when your wife just forgave you with no list, no laundry list?

JOHN: When you’re forgiven like that, you all of a sudden, your heart gets even more tender to doing wrong again. And that’s what people don’t realize, is the forgiveness that God gives, it motivates us to want to please him more. We’re so overwhelmed by his mercy that he’s given to us. I don’t want to hurt his heart because he’s been so good to me. When your spouse is like that with you, it’s the same way. It’s no different. And so I would just say with couples that you’re looking at your side too much. You’ve got to start believing. You know, I kept thinking about when you were saying that, that the love of God, its hopes are fadeless. The hopes never give up. When Jesus, you know, says to us, he says, hey, you’ve done this, you know, 500 times before, I’m not going to listen to you anymore. Well you know, he’s not going to be saying it 500 times, because you know what? His forgiveness really does release us. And that’s what I’ve noticed about God’s forgiveness in my life, is that it really frees me and empowers me. Her forgiveness to me freed me and empowered me to be a better husband. I know that marriage is an institution given by God because it makes us better as individuals. God said in Malachi that “He’s looking for godly offspring out of marriage.” Well it says offspring in the New King James. But in another version it says, “Looking for godly children.” And I think what God is saying is not only natural children, but it makes us better men and women of God because you’d never, ever, ever had read one book by John Bevere, never, not one had it not been for Lisa Bevere. Never. Because I am today because of what she and Jesus have done in my life.

SID: There was a quote you told me before we went on the air, it’s from the Message Bible about divorce. Would you tell that again.

JOHN: Well you know, Jesus, if you look at the Message Bible, when Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and to his own disciples, he called marriage God’s art. And he said, “I’ll hold you accountable for desecrating God’s art. Can you imagine if somebody went and on the Mona Lisa, the original, would have just vandalized it. I mean, Leonardo Da Vinci would have rolled over in his grave, right. Can you imagine how God feels the way marriage is being treated right now in our nation, even amongst Christians. It’s like our society is taking God’s term and they’re desecrating it right now with the way they’re defining it. They’re ruining this organic union.

SID: John, there’s a lot of hurting people out there. Would you pray for them?

JOHN: I want to look at you right now. If your marriage is under attack, let me tell you, this attack can be thwarted, it can be stopped. And so I want to pray for you right now. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth whom I belong to, whom I serve, who has changed my marriage, I speak to the demonic forces that have attacked this marriage and I break the power of those forces, and I call for strife and division to leave this marriage. I release forgiveness into this marriage and I release the hope that is in Christ Jesus into this marriage. In Jesus’ name, I command all opposition, every word that’s been spoken against your union. I break the power of those words and I release the Word of God that says, there will be a miracle, there will be a fusing together of the hearts and souls in this marriage, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen.

SID: I have a word from God for you. Don’t give up. Never give up.